Female Vampires

Ruminations on ladies with fangs.

Friday, May 19, 2006

More Vampire MILFs

The Fashionistas say for women age 40 is the new 30 and I believe them. MILF has entered the popular lexicon. Like athletes, beautiful women benefit from advances in science, technology, training and nutrition. If only the plasticine Desperate Housewives were on the 1919 White Sox...

In 1966's Dracula: Prince of Darkness, Barbara Shelley (1, 2, 3) was only 33 years old and already portrayed as the matronly travelling companion of two newlyweds. A power-bite from Dracula got her sexual juices flowing again, so much so that she tried to put the make on her new sister-in-law. Tragically, that failed and of course she got staked in the heart for even trying. A famous aphorism from the 1960's was about trusting no one over 30, I guess that goes for vampy in-laws too.

There's a growing list of MILF-y vampires. Rebecca Staab played a vampiress in the soap opera "Port Charles" (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11). She's 44 and looks amazingly hot, hotter than some of Hollywood's "finest" in their 20's. Rebecca also briefly appeared as a vampiress in 1991's Dark Shadows remake. Kate Beckinsale (the sexy tiny-toothed latex-wearing vampiress in Underworld) is a mommy and about the same age as Barbara Shelley when she was allegedly drying up. Had Kate been in Dracula: Prince of Darkness (rather than Barbara) I don't think the newlywed sister-in-law would have needed much asking for that lesbian vampire kiss. Beautiful Jill Hennessey (now 37) of Crossing Jordan fame was also a vampiress in Friday the 13th, The Series: Night Prey (1989), in her prime age of 21. It was a great episode. Then of course there's my favorite vampire MILF Lynne Cormack who practically asked Dracula to make her his vampire wench in Dracula: The Series. She seemed to enjoy being one of the undead more than anyone I've ever seen...god, I loved her in that role but I can't seem to pin down her age. Alison Miller (the mom in Dark Town) also relished going to the dark side and she's in her mid-40's.

My new favorite MILF-who-should-be-a-vampire is actress Cheryl Hines (41) from HBO's Curb Your Enthusiasm. As far as I know she's never been a vampiress but with choppers like hers she'd be perfect.

Of course, there's always a counter-argument and that would be Kim Cattrall in 1998's Modern Vampires (she was 42). How they tried to sell that war horse as sexy even up to Sex and the City is beyond me.

Here's a picture request: Are you a MILF or have a pic of one you want me to vampirize? Please make sure they're legitimately "real" (no actresses, Internet porn models, etc.), that they're smiling, the image is high quality and I'll see what I can do.

Bonus: FemVamps Usual Fake Hollywood starlet vampiress.


At 4:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey if i send u a pic.....

can u make it into a vamp???

At 8:39 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this site, i've been looking with pleasure for the last 5 yrs, cant seem to find dracula the series on dvd (uk), and have Never managed to see a port chrles vamp, is there more?


Post a Comment

<< Home