Female Vampires

Ruminations on ladies with fangs.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Who Cares if She's Dumb?

Jessica Simpson as a VampiressWho can deny the near-perfection of this beauty? While her contemporaries wallow in tackiness, Jessica Simpson continues to display a classic beauty that other pretenders can only wish for. Though she may not be the brightest bulb (remember the "Chicken of the Sea" incident...) I can only say, Who cares? She's an amazing package: buxom, blonde, perfect teeth (er...fangs), eyes, and without that starved elfin waif look to which so many women freakishly aspire. Once a Christian songstress, someone obviously made her see the light and transformed her into something that makes better use of her assets. I decided to do the same.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Still Waters Run Deep

Katie Holmes: Bat Girl Vampire women have extraordinary abilities beyond their mesmerizing beauty. Take Katie Holmes, for example. Who would have thought the cherub-faced girl-next-door from "Dawson's Creek" would become a glamour goddess, or even a shape-shifting vampire for that matter? Here we get an idea of the free-flying huntress she can become as she shows us a flippy 'do and a flippant view of her bat ear.

I like Katie exactly because of her subdued girl-next-door looks. Besides only recently showing her abilities as a credible film actress she's also getting better looking as she "grows up". Look for her to improve even more: unlike many of today's flash-in-the-pans she'll be around for a while.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004

Sex and the Single Vampiress

I used to enjoy HBO's "Sex and the City"; good writing, funny, and existing in a fantasy Manhattan not too unlike the real one for single, attractive, horny young women.

One of whom was the underrated Kristin Davis. She was perfectly cast as sweet, virginal-looking socialite Charlotte York. (I loved it when she wore those white pearls.)

If you contrast Kristin with co-star Kim Cattrall (before she hit the proverbial wall) we see where a nice set of fangs and a happy, smiling face almost always trump the trollop. Well...most times, anyway. It's unfortunate that trashy trollop Kim was the one to actually appear in a vampire movie herself, while the closest Kristin got was a cutie alien in 1988's Alien Nation.

Monday, November 01, 2004

Beauty and Fangs

My vampire women are classic beauties and possibly unlike the ones you're used to seeing in the movies. These are a personal conjecture of the perfect beauty; elegant looks, athletic figure, tasteful appearance and big fangs. Women such as Grace Kelly; one of the classic movie queens from the 1950's is a perfect example. As you can see most beautiful actresses don't get the opportunity to appear in fangs so if there's one I particularly admire I turn her into one. Fortunately, there's been a decent and consistent improvement in the number of vampire movies featuring pretty ladies with fangs over the last 20 years, beginning around the mid-1980's right up to today with some great model-actress-vampires. With any luck this trend will continue.